Article

No longer partners, but forever parents

“This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” -Winston Churchill

The end of a marriage is a time of crisis for everyone involved. Most people admit to feeling the worst they have ever felt in their lives. Many are surprised by the intensity of their feelings, or the way they are responding to the situation. Some cry, some are extremely angry – even to the extent of becoming vicious. During those first numbing days, while you come to terms with your marriage being over, by all means take comfort from the large number of people in the same position as yourself. Above all, know that the feeling of despondency is only temporary and that you will get through it all right.

The different stages you may experience are:
-shock and denial that this is really happening;
-anger and blaming yourself and your ex-partner;
-sadness, bitterness, and even depression; and at last
-acceptance and adjustment to your new life.

If you find it difficult to adjust, seek help from trained professionals, support groups or immediate family. It has been estimated that it takes an average of two years to recover from the trauma of divorce. Give yourself time to adjust.

Separation involves making adjustments to many aspects of your life:
-Your emotional relationship with each other;
-The financial and economic reality that there is no longer a joint income.
-The parental relationship – who did different things for the children?
-Role identity – what were the husband s and wife’s responsibilities.
-Above all, try not to look back all the time. Learn to live your own life, do your own shopping, cooking etc. Let go of the past.

Once you have worked through your emotions, you will come to realize that although you no longer live together, the family still exists. Marriage may not be forever, but parenting certainly is. Parents need to communicate about their children’s needs and practical arrangements for their future care. It is important to understand that your future relationship with your ex-partner must also have the children as focus point, and therefore:

-The needs of your children are the most important considerations.
-Unresolved conflicts in your family may be harmful for your children.
-Children should not be made to choose between parents.
-In most instances, parents are best able to make decisions about their children
-Arrangements about children may need to be adjusted from time to time.
-Conciliation will assist you as parents to focus on the children’s needs and to resolve outstanding emotional baggage.

SHARE ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Share this article ?

LOVE TO WORK TOGETHER

Are you ready to work with us?
Let us know

We are committed to giving you the best service we know you deserve.

Your family law & human rights practitioner.

Get in touch

Address: 1240 Starkey Avenue, Waverley, Pretoria
Phone: +27 12 332 0196
Fax: +27 86 616 4462
Cell:+27 84 582 0196

© 2023 G.J. Van Zyl Attorneys is Proudly Powered by AIS

We would like to be of assistance and offer you sound and good advice.
Please let us know

We are committed to giving you the best service we know you deserve.

Your family law & human rights practitioner.

Get in touch

Address: 1240 Starkey Avenue, Waverley, Pretoria 0186
Phone: +27 12 332 0196
Cell:+27 84 582 0196

© 2023 G.J. Van Zyl Attorneys is Proudly Powered by SynthX Media